SAMB*: Curses

*While Niki is on her retreat she asked her infamous hubs to guest on her SAMB series.

I love my house. Probably not as much as the full-time author and creator of this blog, but pretty close. I love the space, I love the character it has, I love the location, and I have dreams of what it could look like one day.  What I love the most though, is having a yard that I can landscape. I dream of the day when I have a well-manicured lawn. I don’t need it to be the talk of the town and I’m not looking for any garden awards. I just want a weed free, green lawn with colorful plants and shrubs. The only thing keeping me from my dream besides time, money, and the freakin’ heat is my arch-nemisis’…moles.

I have this awesome door in my bedroom that looks out into my backyard. Every now and again I will stand in front of it and look out into my yard and curse the moles. Sometimes in my head, but most of the most out loud. Lines of dead grass mark where their trails have been. Trips back and forth with the lawn mower reveal new, fresh trails. Occasionally I have to shove my gate open over the moles buys work. Dang moles.

I have a simple  trap that the previous owner left and when I’m feeling motivated I’ll move it around my yard hoping the next day I’ve picked the right spot and there will be a dead mole on the other end of it. I’ve seen the trap sprung one time. ONE TIME. You can imagine my excitement as I rushed to see my first dead mole. I pulled up the trap and nothing. No mole. I cursed the trap.

This last week, on our previously blogged about staycation, I thought I would try and drown the suckers out. Play a little “Wack-a-mole” with a hose and a shovel. I heard this was a reasonable method for getting rid of moles. I found some trails, shoved the hose in them, turned the water on and waited to see moles running for their lives. I didn’t have to wait long. There were no moles. Cuss!

“…a varmint will never quit – ever. They’re like the Viet Cong – Varmint Cong. You have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that’s all she wrote.” -Carl Spackler

Feel free to leave a comment below. Please don’t brag about how successful you’ve been at getting rid of your moles. I’m working on my cursing problem.


About nikirush

I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
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2 Responses to SAMB*: Curses

  1. jenn says:

    We maybe live all the way in “iowa” but we feel your pain…well did. We discovered the greatness that is solar powered mole stakes. About $20 a steak we have 4 (front house, sides of house, right next to the patio). Seem to do the trick.
    Brady and Ann actually have killed 2 also, so feel free to borrow them too.

  2. nikirush says:

    I appreciate your ability to maintain a sense of humor throughout the ordeal. And thanks for covering for me. I might have to have to leave town again so you can write a follow-up.

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